COLUMBUS, Ohio (WCMH) — A portly porch pirate grabbed a Lululemon delivery and dragged it to its den, prompting the homeowner to call for reinforcements.

Homeowner Kelly Svoboda, of Cleveland, looked forward to her delivery of athletic wear. But a groundhog intercepted the package, trundled down the porch stairs, and tumbled into a head-over-paws face plant.

But that stumble didn’t deter the pirate from his plunder. The groundhog headed out across the lawn with its stolen gear — as gone as a sailor into Davy Jones’ locker.

Shameless Porch Pirate Steals Lululemon Delivery
Shameless Porch Pirate Steals Lululemon Delivery

Svoboda got on the horn and called Columbus-based Varment Guard Wildlife Services.

Varment Guard set a humane trap, but the wily old salt never touched it and hasn’t tripped the lever yet, safely tucked away in its den, enjoying his pirate’s booty.